Christian band members irritate each other, it’s a fact of band life. Christian band members sin, it’s a fact of Christian life. We are simply not immune from being human. From time to time we are all going to fail. The real test comes in how we respond to our band mates failure. Have you ever considered that God is just as concerned about how we respond to our band mates as He is with their failure?
Here is an excerpt from The Christian Band Handbook to help you succeed at responding correctly when your band mate is irritating or outright sinning.
The successful ministry of a band hinges on the individual members commitment to holiness (right living). But, defining the boundaries for holiness is a sticky issue between denominations and individuals. Adding to the confusion are personalities that conflict. The guidelines for appropriate behavior and sin must be defined during one of the initial discussions at the start of the band and with the addition of each new member. Gray areas (areas which not all denominations agree upon) to discuss are: smoking, consumption of alcohol, language (are some words acceptable replacements for cursing?), and physical fighting or “horsing around”. Each member will probably have these issues already defined, but personal beliefs must be questioned in light of the goal of the success of the band.
Beyond the gray areas are the definite sin issues: pornography, fornication, drunkenness, illegal drug use, etc. The band must decide, before any of these issues occur, how to handle problems. Ideally, the agreed upon process would be written out in the partnership agreement. Predetermining the process for dealing with sin as a band adds to the consequences of committing the sin, thereby becoming another deterrent to aid the tempted person. Additionally, no accusations of favoritism or unfair dismissal from the band could be rightly entertained if a policy is clearly communicated before the sin is committed.
Personality conflicts can become as intense and confusing as to be perceived as a sin issue. Tempers flair and words are spoken which cannot be taken back, especially on the day of a show when the pressure to perform well is greatest. Remember the adversary is the devil, not your bother.
On the day of a show, defer to you brother, even if you are positive he is wrong, rather than allow any divisiveness to come between members of the band. Deferring is much easier to do if the band understands and reminds members that Satan comes to steal, kill, and destroy—he wants to divide the band to destroy the potential of any further ministry. Determine not to let him win. At the next band practice bring up the issue privately and decide how to handle similar situations in the future. The discussion may be heated and the band may need to table the issue until the next practice to allow tempers to cool off. Agree not to bring the issue up to other people during this cool off time. Come back and try to discuss again, clear thinking will usually prevail and the ministry will not have embarrassed itself in any way. Communicate these issues throughout the life of the band during private band practices, not in front of any extra people. Rumors about the holiness and credibility of ministries are frequently blown out of proportion and devastating to the success of the band.
Do not be naive, grey areas, sin, and personality conflicts plague every band because every band is made up of imperfect people. Band members do not always agree on everything and get along all the time. The successful band plans ahead to deal with each of these problems. The band that stays together does so because of the commitment each member has made to the other, much like a marriage. The band which is the apple of Gods eye loves each other to the point of each member being willing to lay down their life (preferences, dreams, goals, music style, music quality, etc.) for the benefit of any other member.”
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